1. Anger and resentment no longer obsess you throughout the day; now they come only in occasional flashes.
2. You spend more time trying to solve problems and less time complaining about them.
3. You don’t feel ashamed all the time; you’re calling old friends and making new ones.
4. You’re indulging yourself now and then with a hobby, or by going to a show you want to see.
5. You no longer find it necessary to recite nasty generalizations about members of the opposite sex.
6. You begin to recognize yourself as part of a large group of people who have gone through divorce and survived.
7. You begin to feel content that your divorce probably had to happen, and that it was not punishment for having failed.
8. You begin to forgive your former spouse for the things that led to your divorce, and you begin to forgive yourself as well.
9. You begin to regard your former spouse as a parent whose significance equals your own, and you seek opportunities to affirm his or her importance to your child. This is the essence of co-parenting.